He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Randomize
