I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Randomize
