Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
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