Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
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