he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize
