It's just like the Real World with babies
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
