I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
dude i'm inner monologue high
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
