remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Randomize
