Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
why is half of my head shaved?
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