Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
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