Me. At least after what I've been through.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
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