i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
