am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
home. puking in laundry basket.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
