i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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