he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
