Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Randomize
