i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
