Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
