You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
Randomize
