ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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