i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Randomize
