My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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