Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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