Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
