ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
