I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
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