I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Randomize
