I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
So apparently I’m into choking now
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