I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
