this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
