Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Randomize
