Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Randomize
