she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
