she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
