Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
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