Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
