he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
