I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
