My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Randomize
