Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
