i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
ugly people sure do ruin things
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Randomize
