I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
