Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
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