Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
