The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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