i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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