I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
