vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
