the condom got lost in my hair
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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