I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize
